User talk:Espoirr
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Alissa page. Please be sure to read all of the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! ClericofMadness (talk) 13:40, March 10, 2018 (UTC) Review of your deleted story The story is rushed, has capitalization (forgetting to capitalize proper nouns and randomly capitalizing words mid-sentence), wording (awkward and repetitive wording: "The baby sim appeared to be distorted. The rest of the family was distorted as well. It was really creepy. All my sims would twist and distort like demons. The distorting stopped after a while, But all my sims eyes went blank and the sound stopped working." Repeatedly using the word distorted without providing a more visual description results in it coming across as un-engaging) and story issues. The story needs a lot of work with its description as a majority of it feels bland and doesn't really paint an effective picture. Finally the story feels unfinished as the ending is incredibly anti-climactic. ("My computer gave me an error message telling me to close the game.") It almost feels like you wrote this in one sitting, didn't proof-read it, and rushed it out. I suggest using the writer's workshop (a link will be in the deletion message) for your next post as these issues will likely result in another deletion if repeated. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:57, March 10, 2018 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. MrDupin (talk) 17:14, March 10, 2018 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. MrDupin (talk) 19:48, March 10, 2018 (UTC) ClericofMadness (talk) 20:43, March 10, 2018 (UTC) Helel ben Shahaar (talk) 00:49, March 11, 2018 (UTC) A Response on Your Deletion Appeal I'm moving this to your talk page as the deletion appeal is for admin review and I'd prefer not to clog it up with a multi-paragraph response. Reading over your response, I felt like I had to provide some answers. First and foremost, your explanation: "P.S. my autism could be taking a toll on my skill." Never use who you are as a crutch. We have had users who are legally blind who use text-to-speech (and all the homophone issues that that entails) and some authors who speak English as a second language who put in the time to fix errors and proof-read their story who have managed to write excellent stories. On this note, I would also like to mention that some of the most engaging authors have learning disabilities themselves (Agatha Christie and F. Scott Fitzgerald spring to mind) who have never used their condition as a crutch so I wouldn't use that as an excuse for not improving. From someone who was diagnosed with a learning disability at a young age, I would suggest not using that as an explanation for not improving. I'll also repeat a line I said earlier: 'I suggest using the writer's workshop (a link will be in the deletion message) for your next post as these issues will likely result in another deletion if repeated.' You repeated the same issues which led to the story being deleted. If you are listening like you say, then you should probably use the writer's workshop which is, in your words, "a CP newbie page of some sort where newer writers can, well, Write!" The writer's workshop is a place where authors can post their stories and look for feedback without them being removed. "At least let people critique, Goddamnit! The critique the mods DO give is very unclear and minor." I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how much more clear I can be with lines like: "The story has capitalization (forgetting to capitalize proper nouns and randomly capitalizing words mid-sentence), wording (awkward and repetitive wording: "The baby sim appeared to be distorted. The rest of the family was distorted as well. It was really creepy. All my sims would twist and distort like demons. The distorting stopped after a while, But all my sims eyes went blank and the sound stopped working." To make it a bit clearer, sentences need to start with a capital letter. Additionally you should not capitalize words in the middle of sentences unless they are a proper noun (a name, a place, or a location, etc.). Additionally repeating the same phrase multiple times or restating similar lines makes a story feel redundant. Also, saying something like 'The baby sim appeared to be distorted. The rest of the family was distorted as well.' as a descriptor doesn't really work as that does nothing to describe what the protagonist is seeing. To explain further, asking yourself questions like: what makes them appear distorted, what does that distortion look like, and what made that sight creepy are a few questions that should be built on to effectively tell the story. "If i DO get a reason, Its normally something really minor such as wording or grammar that could EASILY be fixed." You seem to be overlooking the entire section I spent on pointing out the plot issues (a majority of which cannot be fixed by someone editing a story as that falls on the author themselves to write their story) on top of the frequent mechanical issues. While it's true an editor can resolve mechanical issues, they cannot add description to your story, clean up awkward wording, or remove generic lines or descriptions. It falls on you as the author to improve your story. If you're given advice on the issues present in a story, you, as the author, needs to try and fix them. Repeating the same mistakes doesn't help you grow as a writer. "Finally, I was told i was "Ignoring advice." I did not ignore it, i read it and i heard you loud and clear." Then why didn't you fix any of the issues highlighted? As you said above, minor issues like wording and grammar can be easily fixed. You had time to work on your next story. Why post another story with the exact same type of issues (especially when you've been told that posting stories with the same issues will result in them being deleted)? I'm not an admin on this wiki, but I can tell you this: If you don't use the tools given to you (the writer's workshop, other people's feedback, etc.) you are likely going to have a lot of difficulty posting your story here. Best of luck to you in your writing. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:45, March 11, 2018 (UTC) Ill post it to writers workshop. i am really sorry i was throwing a hissy fit. All i need is a copy of the story Copy Question Did you get a copy of your story? Squidmanescape (talk) 20:27, July 25, 2018 (UTC)